One of THOSE days
[2006-01-30] - [6:15 p.m.]
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Today is one of those days. You know those days. Those days when nothing goes right and it seems as if you are pissing everybody off and they are equally pissing you off. I wanted to join June and the potato in saying to half the people, no most of the people, at work today to just "fuck off a little". My boss arrives to the early morning meeting she had scheduled like, "Ohh, do we have a meeting this morning, I had forgotten!". I can't stand being unprepared in leadership. We basically just updated her on all the shit that went on this weekend and all b/c we believe we have some suspected loss in our store. She did have some insight but she can just be plain flaky at times. I am just so used to such structure and professionalism, I guess, of course we know what that got me- beat down, abused, and burnt out before I was 25 years old. So maybe some flaky, absent-mindness isn't so bad. Then half the staff didn't seem to want to work and just wanted to complain and make rude halk-joking comments about how bad their job is! OHH I have had it w/ half of that crew anyway. I would love to start mass fire and hire tomorrow! My throat hurts and I don't feel good so I know that is part of it. Then the manager who is suppose to replace me is running late due to traffic b/c some fool had a bomb threat out on the highway today. Traffic is crazy when I get off and I am just about out of gas so I must fight it to the gas station. On the way I remember my meds are supppose to be ready today. B/c my fucking HA's want go away, I am up to 150mg of this freaking med and it cost out the ass. So there goes the extra money for the week. Good thing I worked extra last week and the week before and got incentive this last month. I need to see if I can get any OT at all this next paycheck if all these med bills keep piling up. Then I come home and in an effort to tell June I really want her to get a dress coat to match her outfit she bought today for the big Valentine's day date I piss her off GREAT-way to go DUMBASS! WHEN wife buys clothes compliment them honestly, critique slighlty if needed, but don't suggest she didn't do everything right-dumbass, dumbass, 6 years of this and working in retail and you are still a dumbass! Anyway I need a beer and possibly even a cig after today. I haven't smoked in weeks, but I am stressed. Then there is the whole meeting w/ Ed coming up. It is officially Wed. at 11:30 at a nearby steakhouse. I almost called and talked to my dad about it tonight just b/c he is very calm and wise, but I hate to involve him. I hate for he and mom to know very much about anything like that really. It is always better to see how things are going to go b/c they will worry and above all worry we to death over it. In a totally typical mom comment I finally told her I got knew glasses last night. I don't know why I had't told her something as trivial as that , I guess I wanted to surprise her when I saw her next. Anyway, she asked what they looked like and I told her they were black. She answers with," I bet you look funny!". Isn't that nice isn't that how you want your mom to picture you in your new cool glasses that you are so proud of. I said no everybody seems to think they look like they were made for me and my personality. I describe them as black wire frames and she said oh there not "my flambouyont friend's glasses".To which I said, "NO- there Johnny(to be clear I used my real name) glasses". OHH I swear that woman can get under my skin so fast. WHEWW maybe too much meds!!!!See these meds do have the side effect of increased anger/anxiety! Watch out Ed! No I promise and have prayed hard to be very respectful and rational in this meeting w/ him. I basically want to know why the change of heart? and what is different about him now compare to two or even one year/s ago? Then if we get past there ok and conversation leads towards ministry I will discuss how I see us on two different wavelenghts. I will discus those wavlengths at great details later I'm going to eat w/ my sexy wife. The night is already looking better than the day!!!!
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